Sometimes my kids are hilarious. Their random comments don’t always amount to an entire storytelling experience, but if I don’t write them down, I will probably forget them. So every now and then I’ll devote a post to the best of their rants and ramblings.

*Morning Call Downs*
Me: “Cooper! Get up! I have called you three times already this morning!”
Cooper: “Mom, it’s not my fault! Dad put an extra blanket on my bed and made it really warm…tell him not to do that anymore!”

*Watching Emma get fitted for contacts*
 Carys: “Emma’s growing up so fast, isn’t she, Mom?”

*Saturday Clean-Up*
Me: “Cooper, get upstairs and clean your room.”
Cooper: “Room? What room? It’s nothing but a glorified closet.”
(Okay, his room is a little smaller than the others. But where did he learn how to use the word ‘glorified’ correctly in a sentence?!)

*Car Ride Conversations*
Emma: “I’m getting really good at Geo Graphy.”
Me: “But clearly NOT doing well in pronunciation.”
Emma: “What?”
Me: “You meant geography, right?”
Emma: “Oh. Yeah. Well now I feel like an idiot.”
Me: “Sorry.”

*Passing a road-kill raccoon, being devoured by a pack of crows*
Cooper: “Mom! Are those birds eating that raccoon?”
Me: “I think so, Coop.”
Cooper: (stunned silence)
Carys: “Circle of Life, Cooper. Circle. Of. Life.”

*Saturday Morning Clean-Up*
Emma: “Cooper! Get down here and help me clean up this mess!”
Cooper: “Why don’t you come up here and make me?”

*Eating at our favorite bar & grill*
Waitress: “What can I get you to drink?”
Cooper: “I’ll have a Bud Light.”
(stunned silence)
Cooper: “Wait – what’s a Bud Light?”
Emma, whispering: “It’s alcohol.”
Cooper: “Oh. Never mind. I’ll have Sierra Mist.”

*Listening to Blake Shelton’s “My Eyes” on the radio*
Cooper: “Mom? He says my eyes are the only thing I DON’T want to take off of you.”
Me: “Yep.”
Cooper: “So what DOES he want to take off of her?”
Me: “Uhhhhhh…..”
Cooper: “Does he mean her clothes?!”
Me: “Uhhhhhh…..”
Cooper: “So she’s just standing there NAKED? And he’s just looking at her?”
Me: “Uhhhhhh…..”
Cooper: “Okay, that’s just weird.”
Me: “……”